As a beginning entrepreneur, 10,000 ideas on what “could” earn money or what I “could” become, tend to race though my mind daily.  I have about six of those ideas I’m trying launch all at once because I can’t just focus on one.

Attempting to teach myself how to harness my energy into one or two of these topics is nearly impossible.   Imagine having life obligations in one hand.  Your potential in the other.  Your  things in life that you do have under control balanced in a ball under one foot.   And the weight of the world hanging above your head.  If you fall, you will die.  I feel like this all of the time.  That one other foot is supposed to balance me and keep me alive, but it to busy holding random thoughts, at bay.   I will be the first to let you know if I find my way out of this mess I call my life.

I have two kids, a working husband and an amazing home.  But to me that is just existing not living to the full potential God made me to be.  I think I can still have all of those things and still be great at business as well.  I won’t sacrifice my husband or kids for it but I think they a my fuel to be a stronger more accomplished me.    I haven’t found what that is yet but I will soon.

Women don’t have to chose.  Work or my family?   Women are talented enough to be more if they so choose.

I personally want to be able to tell my daughter I accomplished more than just some college.

Dare I ask?   How is it possible that with all of the advancements in technology. We cannot seem to figure out how to expidite the stagnancy of the DMV.  How is possible that with so much being “smart,” like Cell Phones, TV’s, Cars, Blue Ray Players and so much more; we cannot figure out or invent a way to make DMV “smart?”

There are times in life where it seems like the world is trying to drown you.  Times when it feels like nothing is going smoothly.  There’s times it feels like everyone has a bone to pick with you, or maybe  sometimes it feels like everyone around you is either mad, frustrated, annoyed or like they just plain hate you!

I find it very difficult at times to remember, that their negativity doesn’t necessarily stem from me or that persons current mood isn’t necessarily aimed at me.  But one must also remember that sometimes it is.  The day’s it feels like everyone you come into contact with, is in some way wishing you didn’t exist.  I recently had one of these days, and it left me gasping for air.  Yes these days can be debilitating. Days that leave you feeling like you can’t breathe or maybe you don’t want to breath.   Maybe it’s not just one day maybe it’s weeks, months or even years! (You get the picture )   Times like these are extremely taxing on the mind, body, relationships and your ability to bounce back.

I’ll be the first to admit that these days are difficult for myself as well. I do have days I don’t want to feed my animals or my kids or even get out of bed.  Days I want to sit down with a giant box of Oreo’s with big glass of milk and just stuff my face!  Times I tell myself screw all of you I’m not doing it.

But.  Then I have to remind myself.   My kids, and all of my animals can’t take care of themselves.  They need me! I have a God above who loves me! A spouse who depends on my love and support!  And if all else fails. Get my prescription of Zoloft refilled.  (Yes it really dose help.)

There are times I can’t do it alone. Times the love of others and kind words just don’t cut it.  I don’t think that makes me a crazy person.  Nor do I think it makes me a bad wife or mom. It does however make me human.  Life leaves me shaking in my boots at times.  The thought that I will never make the “perfect” house wife leaves me scared to death.   However, I’m learning to embrace the fact that “I am only human”.  We are not all cut from the same cloth.  We are not God!    Nor are we supposed to be. There is no cookie cutter mold I’m required to fit into.  It is my imperfections that make me perfect.  Anyone who says they want to be perfect should be avoided like you should avoid a 2000 lb angry bull.